Where it was going was a place Rohrer had never been before. ”I think we both knew where it was going.” Sparks didn’t fly that night, but Rohrer said leaving the bar with the young man’s contact information, he knew he wanted to spend more time with Ross. It was there at the bar that he struck up a conversation with a young man named Josh. Not out to anyone, he was simply “working in the area” and “wanted to avoid rush-hour traffic.” Like ya do. for an after-work cocktail at the popular gay West Hollywood watering hole, Tortilla Republic. It was an evening about three years ago that Rohrer let the Wolfman out, quietly making his way up Robertson Blvd.
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“So many nights I cried myself to sleep, feeling like I was the Wolfman, or Jekyll and Hyde, or Frankenstein, some kind of monster that only comes out when it’s a full moon, always living in the shadows.” Jeff Rohrer is a man on a mission to open hearts and minds to gay people. While he pursued a life he loved, with people he still loves very much, there was still something he knew was a secret bubbling inside of him, a secret he could never let out. He had never, while he was playing in the NFL for the Cowboys or at any point during his marriage to his wife, dated men, had a boyfriend or had any kind of gay experience. This was inconceivable for Rohrer just a few years ago. This Sunday at a not-so-small ceremony in Southern California, Rohrer will marry his boyfriend of two-plus years, Joshua Ross. It’s fucking amazing.” A Dallas Cowboy marrying the man he loves I figured the world is fucked, but it’s not. ”To know that at a time like this, that they have my back, it’s fucking amazing. Who he had been with them in that time was far more important to them than what he is. When his friends and family and teammates had told him over the years that they loved him, they really meant it. It was like a fog had lifted from his sight, and he saw his own kindness - years of generosity with teammates and friends - coming back to him. And how they don’t care about any of that. “It’s just been fucking ridiculous how nice they have been, and how supportive. ”The kindness of my friends and my family and my teammates” he said, his voice trembling, pausing between words, doing everything he could to express the sudden joy that enveloped his new gay life. When he pulled the napkin away, his eyes were scorched and watery. We sat in silence for the better part of a minute, him present with the last few months of his life. “Oh boy,” he said, quickly covering his face with his black napkin, a moment of raw emotion he simply hadn’t yet let out. His pace of speaking slowed.Īs he talked about the reaction to his private coming out to some of his Cowboys teammates, his ex-wife, his friends in Los Angeles’ beach communities, and almost everyone else in his life, Rohrer became emotionally present with something bubbling inside of him. The appetizer had barely been cleared before there was suddenly a redness in Rohrer’s eyes as conversation turned to his revelations since meeting his fiancé. He’d been l ying to himself about his own life for so long that now, with the opportunity to finally tell himself and the rest of the world hid truth, he just couldn’t talk fast enough. There was an understated excitement about him, giving long, detailed answers to simple questions, like he couldn’t share his story quickly or deeply enough. Still, as we tip-toed into some questions about the first 59-plus years of his life it was clear Rohrer had a lot to say. He wanted to share his story, but not all of it. He was nervously hopeful about this entire public coming-out process and the small collection of writers he had to open up to with his story.
Sitting down, he quickly launched into some questions for me, as well as ground rules for our conversation. When the 6-foot-3, 235-pound former Dallas Cowboys linebacker approached our table in the corner of a dimly lit Beverly Hills restaurant a couple of weeks ago, he was dressed like a stereotypical straight guy, clothes on the baggy side, carrying an over-sized duffel bag… and a delicately clenched martini. With Jeff Rohrer, you have to expect the unexpected.